If You Require Choke Proof Hot Dogs Don’t Have Children

Written by Kevin on 23 February 2010

Warning: This Hot Dog Potentially Wants to Kill Your Kid

CHOKE PROOF HOT DOGS?!? You’ve got to be kidding me.

Last night while channel flipping I ran across part of a news story on our local CBS news that stated some group was looking to redesign the hot dog because children choke on them from time to time. Or, at the very least, put a freaking warning label on the package. Just stop and think about this for at least two seconds and you must see how ludicrous these ideas are.

If you’re a parent and you need to have someone redesign a hot dog so your child does not choke you should just turn your children over to a relative that is a capable parent or turn them over to the state now. You have no business raising children. If you need a warning label on a package of hot dogs because you don’t know that kids can choke on food you need to turn yourself over to the state because you are may be severely mentally handicapped and cannot be responsible for your own safety.

There is no sure fire way to 100% protect your children from choking. NONE. But, if you pay attention to them while they are eating and cut their food into appropriate sized pieces for their age (and yes as a parent you should be able to figure it out it’s not that hard) then you’ve taken all the steps humanly possible to prevent choking.

The sure fire way to NOT prevent choking is to mandate hot dog and other sausage manufacturers adhere to some stupid redesign of a sausage or to require warning labels of any kind. The only thing this will do is make hot dogs more expensive. This type of nanny state stupidity will prevent nothing.

Hot dogs and choking

Joan Adler’s tragic story may force needless regulations on us all

How about this for a real effort towards a nanny state solution… make it a crime (up to 6 years in prison and have your children taken away) to feed any kid under the age of 6 anything but a liquid. Ahhh, but what if they choke on a liquid? That is possible as well and no amount of labeling can save you from that (example: how do you label a woman’s breast so she knows her newborn can choke on her breast milk?). So I propose only feeding children intravenously under the age of 6. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Will the American Academy of Pediatrics get behind that idea? Maybe the American Dental Association can put their teeth (bad pun I know) into this one as well. Because kids not putting food into their mouths until age 6 must result in healthier teeth. EVERYBODY WINS!

Tags: baloney, children, hot dogs, parents
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